Making Friends After 40

Taking Action

When I arrived in San Francisco two years ago, I realized I had no single, female friends.  Here I was in one of the most vibrant, urban cities in the country with no entourage in tow. It can be challenging making friends as an adult in mid-life because of busy schedules, personal priorities, and fewer opportunities for socializing. I was yearning for emotional and spiritual connection. The loneliness hit hardest when coming home to an empty house. It was endless nights with my fur companion, Enzo, and my bestie, Netflix. This wasn’t the post-divorce life that I had envisioned for myself. 

The first thing I did was join a divorce support group. I knew I needed emotional support as I navigated through this major life transition. That group is where I met my first two friends, Keri and Paula. Keri, a beautiful and artistic soul who spoke with grace and poise, listened with compassion and held space for me during the hardest times. Paula, a talented painter with a big heart, became my confidante and friend with whom I could be vulnerable. We empowered each other to move forward in building a new life with hope.

Finding My Tribe

The next step on my friend-making journey was joining a meetup group for women over 40. Meetup groups have always been a fast and easy way to meet people since the activities revolve around similar interests. Yes, it can be totally anxiety producing when you walk into a situation with strangers. All my insecurities of being liked and accepted began to surface. However, I realized I was not alone in my insecurities as everyone was feeling nervous and hoping to make new friends.   

I met women who were in similar situations of transition and new to a big city.  My superpowers of being a connector and organizer started to emerge. I felt inspired to step up and become an event organizer to curate and lead social events for this group of women.  In truth, if you want to get invited to parties you have to organize your own party first. That’s exactly what I did.

During the same time, my dear friend Paula introduced me to Bumble BFF. Although Bumble is mainly known for dating, it has a feature where you can “friend” date. The excitement of trying out new restaurants and bars with women was so refreshing as we shared our life stories over a bottle of bubbly. 

Over a period of a year, I met about 10+ amazing women through Bumble and mutual connections. and included them in the meetup events I organized. A solid tribe of amazing women started to form and I was at the core of generating connection and community.  

Discovering My Superpowers

This is where I witnessed the activation of my superpowers of “being a connector” and “empowering others." I was arriving into my authentic self by embracing my core values of connection and authenticity.  Leaning into my powers and intuition, I hand picked the most fun-loving, compassionate, spontaneous, and culturally diverse group of goddesses. The party invitations started coming and my social calendar was overflowing.  The universe brought me exactly what I needed- a foundation of support and love to stand strong and move me forward to the next phase in my life.

As your relationship coach, I will guide you in discovering your own superpowers and strengthening your interpersonal skills so you can create meaningful relationships. Our work together will help you create your foundation of friendships and increase your connections with the people in your life.